i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
