I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.