Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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