if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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