I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
