You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
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bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
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We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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