Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
