i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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