farters have to be the big spoon...
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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