First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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