I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
