I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I FOUND THE LEGS
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