I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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