its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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