i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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