Well douche your snatch and let's go!
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
