We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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