ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize