as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
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Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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