Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize