and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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