I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
