I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
