I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
