Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
