saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize