i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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