make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
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He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
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Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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