So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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