my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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