people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
