I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
