yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Randomize
