Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
