I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
