I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
