Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
