Where are you?
In a non slutty way
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
