i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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