Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I could make wine with my vomit
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
