the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
