Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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