Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 609 share tweet
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize