Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
