oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
