"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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