like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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