hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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