I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
