I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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