I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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