BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Who put my cat in the fridge?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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