I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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