i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
