you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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