Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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