so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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